Thursday, July 15, 2010

Results of #3

Piece number one belonged to Charlie.
Piece number two belonged to Hanna.

Which means, Hanna won with a whopping one vote!  ;)

We, again, only had one piece entered, and that was by Miss Carly once again.  Carly, I think your story was really nice.

For some reason I can't ever catch Charlie online, so I'll leave a space blank for his comments if he wants to add anything.

Hanna - Carly the way you wrote this story conveyed the emotion of frustration because your character's boyfriend was kinda acting like he didn't care about her going through the 'crisis'.  However, at the end you conveyed the emotion of devotion and I thought it was very sweet.  :)

Charlie -


By Carly P.

“It was horrible,” I sighed, clutching the phone. “Every second of it. Every bloody second.”

“Oh come on, babe. It doesn’t sound that bad.”

“That’s because you weren’t there, Milton! You weren’t there to see the look on her face. The sadness in her eyes.” I paused to pass a tear, and glanced at the ceiling. “You didn’t see her cry.”

“She CRIED?”

“Mmhhmm,” I sniffled.

He sounded utterly shocked. “But she’s your MOTHER! She NEVER cries!”

“I thought so too. But she does, and when she does, she cries hard.”

There was a moment of silence. “Just start from the beginning, then. I want to hear it all.”

“I don’t know why I try so hard all the time. I really don’t. It’s like all I do is exceed limits, and push past expectations. I don’t want to sound vain, but I can’t help it! You know me, and you know how I act. I spend too much time thinking things through. I strive for success. It’s exhausting!

“And the worst part is, no matter how hard I try, I don’t succeed. I thought I could get everything in line, and have everything under control. But I guess I can’t.

“Milton?” I asked, “You still there?”

There was a slight ruffling in the background. “What are you doing, Milton?”

“Calm down, Stacey! I’m just walking downstairs. I can listen and walk at the same time.”

“Okay, so where did I leave off?”

“Something about not succeeding…”

“Oh yeah.” I took a deep breath, and continued. “So I’m working late to try and get this big promotion. That’s all I’ve been doing lately… work, work work. I have no time for relaxing. And just when I feel like I have it all done, and I grab my coat from the hanger, my boss stops me on the way out.


This time, there was a standard bell that rang, similar to a text message, in the background. “Milton, what ARE you doing?”

“Nothing! Just making some food in the microwave.”

“What food?”

“Uhh… popcorn.”

“You hate popcorn, Milton.”

There was more silence. “Does it matter what I’m doing? Since when does it matter what I’m cooking in the—”

“Is that a car engine?” I accused, my voice getting louder. “Don’t lie to me, Milton. I’ve had one of the worst days of my life, and you don’t seem to care!”

“I care!” he shot back. “I care about you a lot, Stacey. More than you know.”

“What is THAT supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Just forget about it, okay? It’s not important. You’ll see in a few minutes.”

“What? You’re not making any sense—”

“Just forget it! Keep talking.”

I was so confused. My whole day was confusing. But I needed to vent. I needed someone to talk to. So, I began talking again. “Turns out, my boss just wanted to tell me I was doing a good job. He held me 20 minutes late to tell me I was doing good.

“You’d THINK I’d be happy by that, but when I got home, I realized I had forgotten about the plans I made with my mother, and she was sitting on the couch crying when I got home. It was her birthday, Milton! And I forgot!”



“Whatttttttttttttttt,” he answered, his voice trailing off sarcastically.

“I’m dealing with a crisis here! I just need someone to talk to.” And then, I burst out in tears. It had been such a long day, and it seemed as if Milton didn’t even care. It seemed like no one cared. Not my mother, and not even my boyfriend.

“I have to go,” he mumbled, with some mixed shuffling noises. “I can’t talk to you like this.”

“Talk to me like WHAT, Milton? What are you—”


He hung up on me.

I flipped over in my bed and sobbed into my pillow. Then, my door opened.

And guess who stood in the doorway.

“I can’t possibly try and talk to the girl I love without seeing her in person. From now on, I’ll just come on over, if that’s alright with you.”

I wiped a few of my tears and sat up. “Milton. You do care.”

“Yes ma’am. I love you, Stacey Quinn. And I want you to know that I always cared about you, even when you were talking on the way over here. I just need to see you more, instead of talk on the phone.”

“Agreed,” I smiled.

“Besides,” he added, as he sat next to me, “You can’t kiss through the phone.”