Friday, June 3, 2011

Writing with Faith

So Corey decided that it might be a good idea to write about writing as God's gift.  Let me just say, so some of you who aren't necessarily Christians that are reading this, that I'm probably not going to go too religious on this, and I'm not going to preach to you and tell you to live your life.

To me, writing is a gift, but it's also a curse, in a way.  Writing is something that I definitely enjoy doing because it allows me to create whatever I want and have whatever I want happen.  Basically, it's like a grown-up version of playing with Barbie Dolls (except you only get dolls of your characters if you're Stephenie Meyer, but whatever).  But it's also a very challenging thing to have consume your life.  Writing takes time and effort and love, so it's kind of like raising a baby.  When you start out, you're scared and everything you do seems wrong because you're new at that.  You take the mistakes you make and you grow from them, you learn from them.  And as your "kid" gets older and as you write more and more, you begin to realize that you suck less.  I'm not going to tell you that you'll ever love your writing, because you are always your hardest critique.  I know that I rarely like anything I write unless I've polished it for a very long time.  I have so many people read so many drafts of even a simple poem, it's ridiculous.  But it's always pretty astonishing to me that I can see something in such a rough form and work with it long enough so that when you compare the finished product to the original, you really can't see where it came from.  In some ways it makes me proud, not really of myself, but of the characters or story I've created. 

Perhaps writing is a gift that we are born with that just lies in waiting until one day we discover that we have it and can use it.  I'm really not sure where we get our writing ability.  Maybe just from having great teachers, or having life experiences that help us write, or maybe we get it from God.  All I know is that I've been told that I have a gift, and if this is my gift, I'm not going to waste it.  I'm going to write and I'm going to write about things that are important to me because that's all that matters.

A lot of people judge writers and say that they're nerdy or whatever.  I know that in my three and a half years writing, I've been judged beyond my wildest dreams.  More in this past year than any other.  I have been told that what I'm writing is a mistake, I've been told that I shouldn't write what I'm currently writing, I've been told that what I'm writing is unjustified, and the list goes on and on.  And while I might agree in some way with each of the remarks made, I know that what my heart tells me to write about is what I'm going to write about.  The story that your heart needs to tell is always the most important one.

So this summer, I am making a vow to not let anyone put me down for this.  This is what I'm writing, whether people want to accept it or not.  I'm writing this because I need to and it's not just for me.  God gave me this gift, He gave me this idea, and He put me through the pain needed to write this, so I'm not going to say no to Him.

Just wish I could get through the first draft.



Tessie said...

Hanna, this was so good! I got involved with my local youth group and church at the beginning of this school year, but I never connected it with God. It's nice now that you got me thinking about it :P
I KNOW you can get through the first draft. And I'm 1500% you're a better writer you were when you wrote the first draft of Solace. It just takes time! You'll get it.
Keep it uuuup XD

Tessie said...

Hahahaha I meant I never connected God with writing XD

Hanna said...

Thanks, Tessie. I knew what you meant.

This draft is just testing me in ways I didn't think possible - and it's not just reliving things, it's how other people are viewing this and how they are reacting to it. But whatever. It's what I'm writing.

Tessie said...

That's so tough, being judged for something you love. I think if it makes you happy and if it's something you really want to do, you shouldn't let anyone get in the way. And people don't give enough credit to writers, it's really hard work. Your story sounds hard to write, but you can do it. And you can always offer up prayers or anything to the universe to help you get through this draft! Well any draft really :P

Hanna said...

Yeah, I guess the weird thing is that the first time around with Solace, all of the judgement came at the fact that I was writing, not at what I was writing. This time around, I'm being judged because of what I'm writing - by people that have always been supportive and loving. Yet they are telling me not to write this - about someone they know was important and even knowing why I'm writing it. I'm ranting, sorry. Just bothersome sometimes. Haha

Tessie said...

Haha don't worry I love when people rant because it makes me feel not as bad for ranting as much as I do :P

But I get it now, like comfort-people are judging you? Just keep writing it and polishing it and maybe they'll read it and they'll come around :P I know you wouldn't, but just don't stop writing because of people.

Hanna said...


And no, I'd never stop writing because of people. It's just harder to do when I keep losing parts of my support systems haha.

Carly Gaile said...

Sorry I'm just jumping into this convo-- I haven't been blogging in forever and just now got back to your blog, Hanna. I don't know exactly what's going on with you and your drafts-- but it's very interesting to me, somehow. So lemme know if I can help or if you need anything. I have full assurance that if ANY human can write something, it's Hanna :)

Hanna said...

Thanks, Carly. Just been through a lot of rough patches since Jimmy was killed and writing about it has kinda tested my faith all over again. I'll get through it tho. :D

And thank you <3