I'd like to talk about something I've been thinking a lot about lately: Actually getting started writing after you've been playing with an idea in your head (and, you know, have written it down and everything). This, to me, is seeming like a hard step in the writing process of a project I really want to start. It's a very personal project, that I haven't totally gotten okay-ed, but I do want to write it because I feel that it will help me, personally. However, this project has several thoughts and feelings that I personally experienced and revisiting those thoughts and feelings scares the crap out of me - and I think that's why I'm having a hard time actually starting it. However, I don't want to start it until it has been okay-ed, but I know that that approval might not come for a while, and even then, it might not be a "yes". Which would totally suck, but I would take it.
So that probably made absolutely no sense to you because I even confused myself a little bit there. But I guess what I'm trying (and probably failing) to say is that getting and idea is 'easy', playing with it in your head is easy and figuring out where you might go with it is easy - but when you sit down to start writing it or, in my case, when I think about sitting down to start writing it, it gets harder. Because that's when it becomes real. It's when this idea in your head that you might do something with someday becomes this actual piece of work that is coming solely from your imagination and fingertips. And that's scary because if something is not turning out the way you want it to or it's not sounding the way you want it to or it's not flowing the way you want it to you, you blame yourself because you're the only one with influence on it. And, as a writer, I think that we sometimes use this as an excuse to never start writing - fear can be a powerful thing, but only when we let it.
I'm really losing where I'm going with all of this. It used to be so easy to just put to words exactly what's on my mind, but now it's hard. Guess I've been out of the practice too long. Which is another reason I really want to start writing the other project. I can't get back to SOLACE just yet - not to mention I'm not sure if it would transfer over to this computer or not.
Since I've just wasted your time, I'm going to let you go now.
~Hanna~
